Have you ever been involved with someone who just can’t let go? Not of you my dear but of their past relationships. It’s hard letting go of the past from time to time. Should you have been in a car accident at 12, possibly at 16 driving is the last thing in the world you’d want to do. How do you deal with someone who constantly keep allowing their hurts from prior relationships interfere in your relationship?
I am the type of person that I go through the grieving process. You have to grieve in order to move forward. When a person doesn’t give themselves the right to grieve, then it becomes a poison. It’s a very painfully slow acting poison that destroys that person and anyone around said person. Maybe its like a monster that consumes it’s host bit by bit and then eventually turning into an image of the person that used to be there. Their happiness is short-lived and then they ruin any means of happiness in their lives. The sad part is, they tend to destroy themselves way worst than they destroy others. The love of someone is wanted, maybe even needed, yet it’s not properly received or appreciated.
What do we do with such a person? Well, it truly depends on that person. If that person is lazy and not willing to work on themselves then you should distant yourself from them. Why keep putting yourself in the line of fire? Did you hurt them? Did you break their hearts? Did you do anything that would warrant the actions being taken towards you? NO! You do not deserve being beaten up just for doing your job, loving them. You do not deserve to be mistreated or unjustly abused because they are having difficulties with their own demons. If a person is willing to work on them and make the change, then sticking around would be great. It would pay off in the end. It would teach them that when love is present, it is real and it feels incredible.
Could you pray for them? Well of course. Prayer could fix anything. Even if it’s over, you could still pray for them. Could you still love them? Yes but…it may come at a cost. Sometimes its best to love a person from a far. You have to remember to take care of you from time to time. Think of yourself as a passenger on a plane that’s going down. They tell you to SAVE YOURSELF FIRST before trying to save anyone else. You cannot provide oxygen for anyone else if you’re gasping for air yourself. If you choose to stick around, take the timeout for yourself and make sure you’re all good. There’s something about us when we put on the cape. We try to save the whole world and neglect ourselves in the process. We cannot be everyone’s superman/woman without first being our own. We must put in the same efforts on our own well-being. If not, then they would bring us down and then the relationship would really suffer.
I picked the image above because it is so true. When you want to love someone the way they desired to be loved. They constantly complain about the past so the image is what most of us want to do. It’s like come on. You talked about how this one didn’t do. That one didn’t do. The other one didn’t do. I am doing it, what else do your ass want? Why are you still talking about her/him? Why are you still mentally with them? You’re here with me. I am giving you what you want and need. I am loving you the way you desire to be love. So, why am I hearing about the past? The past is not today. I love you unlike your past. I am here for you unlike your past. I desire you unlike your past. If you keep focusing on your past. Then I too, will become your past.
Let me know your thoughts. Thanks for stopping by.